empty nest syndrome

EMPTY NEST

I was aware of the term Empty Nest Syndrome. I also saw people around me missing their children when they leave home for a better and brighter future. I had made the right noise when the affected parents recalled each and every incident related to their child’s life. I would calmly tell them how to cope with it, using the right words, with a gentle, sympathetic tone. Now it’s my turn to confess that I failed in the test when my time came.

For a long time the house was silent .The important 9o’clock news could be actually seen, without the remote being confiscated on the plea that the Roadies was being aired. The cold drink lost its fizz as it was kept unopened in the fridge for a long time. One did not have the heart to buy chips, make Pasta or Noodles. There were no sudden announcements that a gang of twelve hungry friends were going to raid the house. This was the immediate phase.

Once we had accepted the absence then came the intermediate phase. The reminiscence---Wasn’t it just yesterday when we had cradled the baby, smelling of ’Johnson baby soap & powder, and burped her? What about the anxious hours spent on weaning her or trying to train a rebellious six month old to sit on the bright red plastic potty? I also remember her nasty fall from the cycle and the hysterical outburst after the dreaded Tetvac injection. The hours spent on making the SUPW or Geography or History project ….the list is endless. It also includes the long sulking hours when I did not allow her to attend a friend’s birthday party just before the final exams but how it ended in a warm hug when the permission was granted.

Yes! Parenthood is an unending list of binary commands….existing between a Yes and a No. If one’s own childhood has been a happy and adventurous one then the parental focus is not on the syllabus or coming first in class. The idea is to relive one’s own childhood via the child, by reading comics, visiting favourite places or eating the same food. Thanks to the era of remixes, we enjoyed singing the same songs, though to a different beat.

When I take a stock of things, I keep questioning myself whether I could have been a better parent if I went back in time. Did I do it the right way or whether I was too experimental? My reverie ends when I get a message, “outgoing barred….call soon”. Sigh! Parenting never ends. Should it?

of gossip and grapevine

OF GOSSIP AND GRAPEVINE

Life without gossip is bland. Gossip makes life livable. A frenzied neighbour, living across, wanted to know why the branches of the huge Mango tree in our garden remained untrimmed. I was impressed by her concern. I reassured her that once the mali comes he would do the needful. “Get it done pronto. We can’t see what is going on in your house”. We had deprived her of a lot of fodder for thought.

Gossip is like fragrance that gently wafts into your nostrils, sends a tizzy down your spine and electrocutes your senses, spinning you into action for an eager friend is just an earshot away. The grapevine gets activated and spreads to a vast geographical area. Haven’t we all heard the favourite opening lines …” Kisi ko batana nahi” and rest assured, everyone will know about it. By the time grapevine delivers gossip to its destination so much spice has been added that the actual incident has a complete makeover.

Gossip is a social leveler. The rich can sit in their plush mansions and obtain information about the neighbourhood from their maid. Gossip is an act of social service too. Some love to unburden themselves and some love to disperse that burden with the help of an ever ready grape-vine How can a person remain aloof if people choose to reveal their innermost thoughts? The person who indulges in gossip owes it as gift to society, helping people unburden themselves of their problems.

Gossip is great for all ages especially senior citizens. Imagine the long winter nights or the sizzling hot summer days! How would one spend them? Gossip acts as an elixir for the giver and receiver, entertaining and lifting up drooping spirits, filling up vacuous moments. The active mind remains fertile. The adrenalin pumped in by juicy gossip is good for the barren heart. No medication will be needed for dementia, Alzheimer and depression . Isn’t gossip is a boon for the elderly ?

If gossip is the mantra for success how can one become a good gossip? For a debutante a visit to beauty parlour, kitty party, a mehendi ceremony, ladies sangeet or maybe some saree exhibition is a must. Gossip thrives at such places. What will be the benefits of gossip? Well! You will be known in social circles. Page three will be barren without you. Your infamously famous personality, deeply entrenched in gossip, will surely receive invite for a reality show. Bravo! you have arrived.

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